Podcast Episode Six: Journaling

SEASON TWO - EPISODE SIX: JOURNALING

Dear Diary,

After forgetting about you for almost 20 years, I picked you up and decided to reread parts of you. Oh dear Lord in heaven. What was I thinking of writing all that stuff? It’s some of the most hysterical, embarrassing, vomit-inducing, fundamentalist stuff I have ever read.

It is epic. So, I have decided to read those parts to my podcast listeners.

Sincerely,

Nathan

It’s true. In the sixth episode of the Why Behind the What, I read from my first journal when I was quite the young and immature conservative evangelical. But ever since then, I have always kept a journal with me to write down thoughts, ideas, prayers, quotes, and over things I want to remember and reference. I have a row of them on my bookshelf.

Journaling is a powerful spiritual rhythm. It gives voice to our prayers, longings, and desires. It filters our prayers and thoughts to their core and can become a time capsule for our prayer life. It also can be a way to hear the still small voice of God. 

I’ve found journaling to be an incredible funnel for our deepest thoughts and desires. The more I write, the more I am able to filter out random thoughts and bring focus to my thoughts or desires I have been ignoring or too distracted to notice.

Some of the most famous and impactful spiritual books in church history are simply journal entries. Whether it’s Saint Augustine’s Confessions or Mother Teresa’s Come Be My Light or works by Henri Nouwen and Thomas Merton, these are all works by spiritual leaders who journaled their thoughts, desires, and spiritual journey.

Their words and prayers impact generations of people...while my words and prayers would be an embarrassment for generations of people.

In this episode, I also give a few tips on how to start journaling, so be sure to listen. My favorite journals are Moleskine. I have used them for years and I always have a handful lying around my office. A good resource I recommend is from a former professor of mine: Journaling as a Spiritual Practice: Encountering God through Attentive Writing.

As you start writing your thoughts and desires onto a page while listening for the Divine, may you have peace, may you have calm, may you have happiness.

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Podcast Episode Five: Centering Prayer

SEASON TWO - EPISODE FIVE: CENTERING PRAYER

Nothing can make me fall asleep quicker than being forced to do Centering Prayer for 20 minutes after lunch, during prime nap time, when you’re in graduate school and constantly exhausted. Yet, the first time I tried Centering Prayer, this is what happened. After 20 minutes, I awoke to drool streaming down my chin.

After this experience, I didn’t try this ancient practice again. It wasn’t until over a decade later that I tried Centering Prayer and this time I found it had become a profound practice for my soul that leads me into greater peace and calm, centers my soul, and allows me the space to listen for God. It’s been a game changer in my spiritual life. It was revived my soul and lead me into deeper awareness.

At it’s basic, Centering prayer is a type of silent prayer in which we center ourselves upon God’s presence.

This is why it is also one of the most difficult spiritual practices. It’s a practice where I can’t do anything, really. I don’t check things off my list. Instead, it forces me to be rather than to do. In Centering Prayer, I just am as I am. It’s just me and my thoughts, which can become quite noisy when sitting in silence.

But this is also why Centering Prayer is an essential practice.

Instead of me trying to achieve or do something, Centering Prayer becomes about me being present, as I am, to the Divine One who is always present to me. It becomes this centered place where I’m not working on my own soul, but God is working on my own soul. Through it, God does a transforming work in me and I am simply opening myself up to the One who does such good work.

Centering prayer allows us to be in union with God, to be aware of God, and to be as close to God as your very breath. It is a holy act, where we don't have to worry about doing, but instead settle into simply being.

Catholic Priest, Basil Pennington gives the following framework for Centering Prayer:

Be With God.

Stay With God.

Return to God.

In this episode, I share more about Centering Prayer, but I also give instructions on how to do a sit as well as end the episode with silence to experience Centering Prayer. As I mention in the podcast, a few resources I recommend are: Centering Prayer, by Basil Pennington; Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening, by Cynthia Bourgeault; and Centering Prayer in Daily Life and Ministry.

As you learn to center yourself through silent prayer, as you learn to be with God, stay with God, and return to God, may you have peace, may you have calm, and may you have happiness.

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Podcast Episode Four: Breath Prayer

SEASON TWO - EPISODE FOUR: BREATH PRAYER

Back in the day, a group of monks decided to decipher what an ancient scripture meant when it said “pray without ceasing.” How could one pray without ceasing when there was work to get done? Eventually, this group of monks realized that if one connected their prayer to one’s breath, they could pray without ceasing.

As you would inhale and exhale you would pray a short prayer. What they first came up with became known as the Jesus Prayer, sometimes known as breath prayer.

In it earliest form, which was written down around 470 AD was, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of David, have mercy on me a sinner.” During an inhale, one would pray “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of David” and on the exhale one would finish, “have mercy on me a sinner.” Since then, Christians, especially in the Eastern Orthodox tradition, have been using this prayer as a way to be in constant prayer and union with the Divine.

Breathing and praying have a mystical and mysterious way of connecting us with and becoming aware of the Divine.

The breath prayer has allowed me to acknowledge that I can be aware of God’s presence at any time.

Just as you can be talking to a friend but thinking about your grocery list, your mind is able to work at different levels, so too can we be doing something but also engaging in prayer. It also enables me to become aware of the mystery that the Divine isn’t in some distant heaven, but is as close to me as my very breath. It has a way of centering me, and bringing me back to the present moment.

In this episode, I share about the power of prayer through breathing, the way it can center ourselves upon God at any moment of our day, and how it has a 100% success rate at calming my anxiety and stress.

A list of breath prayers that I recommend:Yah, Weh; God I can’t, but God you can; God of love and peace, cast out my fear and anxiety; Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief; I will love you God, You are my strength; Lord make me according to your heart; For God alone my soul in silence waits; God of peace, calm my nerves; Spirit of Love, have your way; Speak, Oh God, Your servant is listening;And of course there’s the classic: Calm the F down, you’ll be ok.

A few resources mentioned include: Centering Prayer, by Basil Pennington; Leo Babauta’s blog, Zen Habits; Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening, by Cynthia Bourgeault; The Way of a Pilgrim; The Jesus Prayer: The Ancient Desert Prayer that Tunes the Heart to God; On the Prayer of Jesus: The Classic Guide to the Practice of Unceasing Prayer Found in The Way of a Pilgrim.

Be sure to listen, subscribe, share, and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts.

As you learn to pray without ceasing, becoming aware of God’s presence as close as your very breath, may you have peace, may you have calm, may you have happiness.

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Podcast Episode Three: Solitude

SEASON TWO - EPISODE THREE: SOLITUDE

Solitude. I know, it sounds boring, doesn’t it? Unless you're an extreme introvert and your probably rejoicing- “this is the best thing ever!”

I’m a bit of an extrovert, so for a long time solitude was torturous for me. I hated it. But, as an extrovert, I have learned that solitude isn’t torturous, it is actually essential to my spiritual transformation and my personal well-being.

As Henri Nouwen has stated, “without solitude it is virtually impossible to have a spiritual life.”

As a spiritual practice, solitude is more than getting away from people, untethering ourselves from technology. Solitude is an opportunity to turn away from other people, technology, and other ways we can be interrupted in order to turn toward and be present to God who is always present to us.

Solitude is the place where we encounter God as we are and we leave that place transformed and renewed because we were with God. It could be said that in solitude, we not only spend time with the Divine, but we also discover our true self, who we are truly meant to be in God’s presence.

As Ruth Haley Barton says in her book, Invitation to Solitude and Silence, that in solitude and silence the love of the Divine comes to us, but it also begins to flow out of us to others. So, solitude can be an avenue for God to transform us into healed, compassionate, and loving people who not only reflect the Divine, but also love others in the same way as the Divine.

I had always thought that being alone was simply a way to become quickly lonely or an opportunity to get away from those friends that you could only handle in small doses. But it is so much more than that. It is a proven way to be with God and hear the still small voice of God.

In this episode, I am going to challenge you to start exploring solitude. But don’t worry, I set the bar low; really low. If you want some resources, I recommend: Thoughts in Solitude, by Thomas Merton; Invitation to Solitude and Silence, by Ruth Haley Barton; The Way of the Heart, by Henri Nouwen. Be sure to share this episode and, if you could, write a review on iTunes.

And in the solitude, may you have peace, may you have calm, may you have happiness.

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Podcast Episode Two: Silence

SEASON TWO - EPISODE TWO: SILENCE

The hustle and bustle of a noisy city have a way of becoming white noise. It can lull you to sleep. You almost don’t hear the noise until it is no longer there. This was my reality when I lived in Chicago.

Most evenings, in the middle of the night, I would wake up to a moment of silence. The stoplight at the intersection turned red, there were no cars moving, and all the sirens stopped. Yet, as soon as the light turned green and the hum of the cars started up again, I’d wistfully fall asleep again.

It surprised me that the silence would wake me up rather than a honking horn or a siren.

Silence. It got my attention even in my sleep.

We fill the silence with music, podcasts, thoughts, notifications, and words. I think there is an epidemic of noise in our culture. In a season of stress, busyness, and burnout is when I began to notice how noisy my world was. And as I learned to become aware of the noise, to learn what is deafening the silence, I realized just how important silence is.

Silence is imperative for the spiritual life.

Silence does more than simply allow our minds to settle down. It enables us to become better listeners in conversation. It can refresh our souls and calm anxiety. It trains us to trust our thoughts and better handle our emotions. It even enables us to have greater compassion for others and upon ourselves. Yet, more than that, it enables us to be present to the One who is always present to us. It creates a space for us to be still and hear the still small voice of the Divine. It allows us to open ourselves up to God so God might do a transforming work in us.

If your world is a bit noisy, I hope you will take a listen to this episode. I even end the episode with a prolonged moment of silence in hopes that you might find peace amidst a noisy world.

If you are enjoying this podcast, please write a short review on Apple Podcasts. It helps the algorithm push the podcast to more people.

Additionally, here are a few great resources referenced in this episode: Stillness is the Key, by Ryan Holiday; Thoughts in Solitude, by Thomas Merton; Invitation to Solitude and Silence, by Ruth Haley Barton; The Way of the Heart, by Henri Nouwen.

As you experience the silence, may you have peace, may you have calm, may you have happiness.

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Podcast Episode One: When Faith Stops Working

SEASON TWO - EPISODE ONE: WHEN FAITH STOPS WORKING

I never thought I’d be the pastor who would find himself laying on the floor, under his desk, with noise-canceling headphones on, crying.

But within a few years of actually being in full-time ministry, within a few years of actually working for churches, within a few years of actually preaching, and pastoring, and creating programs, I found myself so overwhelmed with life and work that there I was, just chilling under my desk.

At the time, I found myself burnt out. I felt overworked, completely unprepared for ministry, and my soul was aching for something I wasn’t sure was even worth it, longing for something more. My faith wasn’t working the way it once had.

I realized that I needed something new. And what I learned was that the something new I needed was actually something quite old; ancient actually.

And so, from meditation to monasteries, silence to solitude, contemplative practices to centering prayer these ancient spiritual practices changed everything for me. They literally revived my soul and saved my faith. It wasn’t as if I pursued contemplative spiritual practice, it was as if I fell into them, discovering them by human accident but divine purpose.

Contemplative spiritual practices are ways that open me up to God’s presence, ways to be with God rather than things to do for God, and they’re practices that allow God to do things in me while I am simply learning to be; be present and still.

In this episode of the podcast, I share how these ancient practices revived my faith, healed my soul, and allowed me to hear the Divine. Take a listen and be sure to leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcasts.

If you’re looking for more resources, check out: The Emotionally Healthy Leader, by Pete Scazzero; Just This, by Richard Rohr; New Seeds of Contemplation, by Thomas Merton; Concerning the Inner Life, by Evelyn Underhill

Until then, may you have peace, may you have calm, may you have happiness.

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Coming Soon: Podcast Season Two

It’s back!

After a long hiatus, my podcast, The Why Behind the What, is back with all-new episodes, a new logo, new music, and new ideas to share with you! Where have I been for the last few years? Well, not doing a podcast, that’s for sure. But rest assured it is back and ready to go.

Starting January 13th, a new episode will drop every two weeks based on the theme, ‘Ancient Contemplative Spirituality for Today’s Transformation.’

The past few years have brought me on a journey where I realized faith wasn’t working for me as it once had. My Christian life wasn’t what it once was. The prayers I said, the songs I sang, the church services I attended, the Bible I read, it all stopped working. I became disillusioned, bored, tired, and critical. I was burnt out. And, much of this happened while I was working as a pastor.

I needed something new in my faith and something more for my soul. What I discovered was that something ‘new’ was actually something quite old; ancient actually.

That’s what I’ll introduce you to this season. In these episodes, I’ll invite you into ancient spiritual practices that relieve stress, increase union with the Divine, and lead to personal and spiritual transformation. These practices have quite literally revived my faith, healed my soul, increased my passion, and allowed me to hear the still small voice of God.

If you have found yourself on a similar faith journey; one that isn’t working as it once did, one that has led you to become burnt out, cynical, or tired, I hope you will listen. And more than that, I hope you will open yourself up to the Divine and through ancient contemplative spirituality, you might be transformed today.

A few things you can do to help spread the word about The Why Behind the What:

• First, subscribe to the podcast on APPLE PODCASTS, PODBEAN, SPOTIFY, STITCHER, OVERCAST, google play, podcast republic, or wherever you listen.

• sECOND, please share it on social media (I need your help to spread the word to the masses).

• THIRD, please review it on ITUNES PODCASTS so those silly algorithms will allow more people to find it.

Until then, may you have peace, may you have calm, and may you have happiness.

This podcast and blog were written and recorded on Monacan Land. For more about indigenous land and territories where you live and work, check out native-land.ca.