FOMO in 1955 by Thomas Merton

Long before FOMO was a thing, I’m pretty sure that Thomas Merton was writing about FOMO.

In his book, No Man is an Island, which Merton published in 1955, he states the following about contentment, happiness, humanity, and FOMO. I’ve adapted this passage with gender inclusive language:

One who is content with what they have, and who accepts the fact that they inevitably miss very much in life, is far better off than one who has much more but who worries about all they may be missing. For we cannot make the best of what we are, if our hearts are always divided between what we are and what we are not.

We cannot be happy if we expect to live all the time at the highest peak of intensity. Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony. Let us, therefore, learn to pass from one impfect activity to another without worrying too much about what we are missing.

What do you think? Pretty good, right?

What I found striking about this passage is his emphasis on contentment and presence. When we are content and in the present moment, we inevitably miss out on something, but we are much more happy. If I am understanding this correctly FOMO, then, would lead to simply fear, anxiety, and a lack of contentment and happiness. He wrote this 65 years ago, long before #fomo became a thing.

Sure, there are times when I am disappointed when I am not with certain people who happen to be somewhere else. However, if I am always longing to be somewhere else than where I am, I will never truly be happy in the present moment or my daily life.

Yet, so much of social media and our culture has taught us not to be present where we are but instead to post about being present so those who are not present with us might sense some FOMO for not being present where we are present.

I don’t even know if that sentence makes sense to you, but I think I’m stating it correctly.

But all of this means we are not present. If Merton is correct, then we will never truly be content. And, I think it is safe to say that many of us live a life of discontentment because of our lack of presence.

This is what I think of when Merton speaks of the “highest peak of intensity.” We are living for the next like, the next retweet, the next share, the next comment. And when we live hoping for that, we are trying to live in the highest peak of intensity.

As I have stated elswhere, it leads to to live a life where we are face-to-phone around people rather than being face-to-face with people.

I’ll be sharing more about this idea in my podcast, The Why Behind the What, later this season (Check it out on Apple Podcasts or Spotify).

Maybe we need to heed these 65 year old words and try to let the imperfect activity pass without worrying too much about what we are missing so we might realize contentment, happiness, and the joy of missing out.

Walks While Overwhelmed

So, every day this week has been a really long year or two, huh?

The Coronavirus is here and life is going to change. For many of us, it already has.

I don’t know about you, but I sense myself becoming more anxious by the minute.

There are travel suspensions, Tom Hanks, the NBA suspends their season, hundreds of universities and colleges are moving to online and remote learning, there are concerns about our elders’ health and safety, friends are in quarantine, and we’ve been told the worse is yet to come.

As I sat in front of my computer trying to take in all this news, switching from Twitter to the New York Times to Gmail, I sensed panic brewing in my soul and felt myself becoming overwhelmed.

Then…

I walked home.

A bird was chirping so loud it was all I could hear. I walked past a dog playing in its owner’s backyard. A squirrel was running around the neighborhood as if it was playing a game of tag. The sky was the perfect shade of blue with a sprinkling of gorgeous white clouds. The temperature was perfect and the breeze refreshing.

For a moment, a moment, I felt as if everything was ok.

For a moment, I could breathe.

For a moment I didn’t sense an ounce of anxiety.

And for a moment, I thought maybe everything was going to be ok.

In light of our twenty-four news cycle where everything is breaking news, where panic and hoarding is becoming our reaction, and when we are living in the tension and anxiety of the unknown surrounding this situation, my encouragement to you is to breathe, to take a walk, and to become mindful of the world around you.

I know it might sound trite, too simple, or unrealistic, but it works if only for a minute.

It has the power to snap you out of anxiety and into a sense of calm.

And we all need glimpses of calm once and a while. Especially now.

Podcast Episode Four: Breath Prayer

SEASON TWO - EPISODE FOUR: BREATH PRAYER

Back in the day, a group of monks decided to decipher what an ancient scripture meant when it said “pray without ceasing.” How could one pray without ceasing when there was work to get done? Eventually, this group of monks realized that if one connected their prayer to one’s breath, they could pray without ceasing.

As you would inhale and exhale you would pray a short prayer. What they first came up with became known as the Jesus Prayer, sometimes known as breath prayer.

In it earliest form, which was written down around 470 AD was, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of David, have mercy on me a sinner.” During an inhale, one would pray “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of David” and on the exhale one would finish, “have mercy on me a sinner.” Since then, Christians, especially in the Eastern Orthodox tradition, have been using this prayer as a way to be in constant prayer and union with the Divine.

Breathing and praying have a mystical and mysterious way of connecting us with and becoming aware of the Divine.

The breath prayer has allowed me to acknowledge that I can be aware of God’s presence at any time.

Just as you can be talking to a friend but thinking about your grocery list, your mind is able to work at different levels, so too can we be doing something but also engaging in prayer. It also enables me to become aware of the mystery that the Divine isn’t in some distant heaven, but is as close to me as my very breath. It has a way of centering me, and bringing me back to the present moment.

In this episode, I share about the power of prayer through breathing, the way it can center ourselves upon God at any moment of our day, and how it has a 100% success rate at calming my anxiety and stress.

A list of breath prayers that I recommend:Yah, Weh; God I can’t, but God you can; God of love and peace, cast out my fear and anxiety; Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief; I will love you God, You are my strength; Lord make me according to your heart; For God alone my soul in silence waits; God of peace, calm my nerves; Spirit of Love, have your way; Speak, Oh God, Your servant is listening;And of course there’s the classic: Calm the F down, you’ll be ok.

A few resources mentioned include: Centering Prayer, by Basil Pennington; Leo Babauta’s blog, Zen Habits; Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening, by Cynthia Bourgeault; The Way of a Pilgrim; The Jesus Prayer: The Ancient Desert Prayer that Tunes the Heart to God; On the Prayer of Jesus: The Classic Guide to the Practice of Unceasing Prayer Found in The Way of a Pilgrim.

Be sure to listen, subscribe, share, and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts.

As you learn to pray without ceasing, becoming aware of God’s presence as close as your very breath, may you have peace, may you have calm, may you have happiness.

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Dust to Dust and the Importance of the Letter H

Dust to Dust; Ashes to Ashes.

This is a common phrase recited on Ash Wednesday and during the liturgical season of Lent.

It’s a common phrase I refuse to recite. Yes, I cannot say it.

The reason? Well, every time I have recited it, especially in public, I for some reason forget to say those “H’s” and end up saying, Dust to Dust, Asses to Asses.

Once it happened at a funeral. And, there’s no possible way to recover from that. Except that I probably should have just jumped into the grave and buried myself.

But, another common phrase is “From dust you have come, to dust you shall return. Repent and believe the Good News.” This phrase is often recited on Ash Wednesday during the imposition of ashes, which is fancy seminary and church word for ‘smearing ash on your forehead.’ No joke…as I just typed that I literally just typed ‘smearing ass.’ See, those H’s are hard. This is so sacrilegious, I can’t even handle myself.

Last week, I had the opportunity to smear ashes on dozens of students’ foreheads as we did our annual “Ashes on the Go” around our campus. Setting up stations across the campus, we gave students to get ashes and remind them of their mortality. Over and over I said this phrase:

“From dust you have come, to dust you shall return. Repent and believe the Good News.”
“From dust you have come, to dust you shall return. Repent and believe the Good News.”
“From dust you have come, to dust you shall return. Repent and believe the Good News.”

And, the more I recited it, the more I realized the depth of that phrase. In between smears, I started to brainstorm the depth and richness of this phrase and very quickly a bunch of other phrases started to pop into my mind. I’ve made a brief list below.

I encourage you to read through them, let them become your prayer and mantra this Lent, and allow yourself the space to become aware that you are dust, but you are the Divine’s dust.

From dust you have come, to dust you shall return. Repent and believe the Good News.

You are dust, but the Divine invests everything in dust.

You are the Divine’s, which makes you so much more than mere dust.

You are dust, but God is breathing life into you.

Change your mind, open your mind, transform your ways, believe the Good news.

Take heart, even in seasons of doubt, the Good News is still good.

You may be dust, yet dust is never alone.

Podcast Episode Three: Solitude

SEASON TWO - EPISODE THREE: SOLITUDE

Solitude. I know, it sounds boring, doesn’t it? Unless you're an extreme introvert and your probably rejoicing- “this is the best thing ever!”

I’m a bit of an extrovert, so for a long time solitude was torturous for me. I hated it. But, as an extrovert, I have learned that solitude isn’t torturous, it is actually essential to my spiritual transformation and my personal well-being.

As Henri Nouwen has stated, “without solitude it is virtually impossible to have a spiritual life.”

As a spiritual practice, solitude is more than getting away from people, untethering ourselves from technology. Solitude is an opportunity to turn away from other people, technology, and other ways we can be interrupted in order to turn toward and be present to God who is always present to us.

Solitude is the place where we encounter God as we are and we leave that place transformed and renewed because we were with God. It could be said that in solitude, we not only spend time with the Divine, but we also discover our true self, who we are truly meant to be in God’s presence.

As Ruth Haley Barton says in her book, Invitation to Solitude and Silence, that in solitude and silence the love of the Divine comes to us, but it also begins to flow out of us to others. So, solitude can be an avenue for God to transform us into healed, compassionate, and loving people who not only reflect the Divine, but also love others in the same way as the Divine.

I had always thought that being alone was simply a way to become quickly lonely or an opportunity to get away from those friends that you could only handle in small doses. But it is so much more than that. It is a proven way to be with God and hear the still small voice of God.

In this episode, I am going to challenge you to start exploring solitude. But don’t worry, I set the bar low; really low. If you want some resources, I recommend: Thoughts in Solitude, by Thomas Merton; Invitation to Solitude and Silence, by Ruth Haley Barton; The Way of the Heart, by Henri Nouwen. Be sure to share this episode and, if you could, write a review on iTunes.

And in the solitude, may you have peace, may you have calm, may you have happiness.

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Podcast Episode Two: Silence

SEASON TWO - EPISODE TWO: SILENCE

The hustle and bustle of a noisy city have a way of becoming white noise. It can lull you to sleep. You almost don’t hear the noise until it is no longer there. This was my reality when I lived in Chicago.

Most evenings, in the middle of the night, I would wake up to a moment of silence. The stoplight at the intersection turned red, there were no cars moving, and all the sirens stopped. Yet, as soon as the light turned green and the hum of the cars started up again, I’d wistfully fall asleep again.

It surprised me that the silence would wake me up rather than a honking horn or a siren.

Silence. It got my attention even in my sleep.

We fill the silence with music, podcasts, thoughts, notifications, and words. I think there is an epidemic of noise in our culture. In a season of stress, busyness, and burnout is when I began to notice how noisy my world was. And as I learned to become aware of the noise, to learn what is deafening the silence, I realized just how important silence is.

Silence is imperative for the spiritual life.

Silence does more than simply allow our minds to settle down. It enables us to become better listeners in conversation. It can refresh our souls and calm anxiety. It trains us to trust our thoughts and better handle our emotions. It even enables us to have greater compassion for others and upon ourselves. Yet, more than that, it enables us to be present to the One who is always present to us. It creates a space for us to be still and hear the still small voice of the Divine. It allows us to open ourselves up to God so God might do a transforming work in us.

If your world is a bit noisy, I hope you will take a listen to this episode. I even end the episode with a prolonged moment of silence in hopes that you might find peace amidst a noisy world.

If you are enjoying this podcast, please write a short review on Apple Podcasts. It helps the algorithm push the podcast to more people.

Additionally, here are a few great resources referenced in this episode: Stillness is the Key, by Ryan Holiday; Thoughts in Solitude, by Thomas Merton; Invitation to Solitude and Silence, by Ruth Haley Barton; The Way of the Heart, by Henri Nouwen.

As you experience the silence, may you have peace, may you have calm, may you have happiness.

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Comparing Cows and God

Comparing cows and God. Who does that? Meister Eckhart does.

Eckhart was a German theologian and Christian mystic who focused much of his writing on seeing God in all things. He lived in the lat 1200’s to early 1300’s and became pretty popular at the time. He’s one of those writers that a lot of people qoute. So, I thought I’d qoute him here, too, since I’ve recently started reading a book of his writings and teachings.

In one passage, comparing love for cows with love for God, he says,

“Some people want to see God with their eyes as they see a cow and to love God as they love their cow- they love their cow for the milk and cheese and profit it makes them. This is how it is with people who love God for the sake of outward wealth and inward comfort. They do not rightly love God when they love God for their own advantage.”

I find this to be an interesting comment on how we often view God. Most of us, if we’re honest, probably love God in hopes of getting things from God rather than loving God to get God.

There is a big difference between loving God to get God and loving God to get things from God.

And, as Eckhart points out, you don’t rightly love God when you love God for your own advantage. Something for all of us to think about, for sure. Hopefully, we love God to get God, get the Divine One, the Ultimate Reality, the Creator of All Creation, we love God to get Love.